Want to Get Great at Something? Get a Coach — Here's Why

There's a question I get asked more often than almost any other: "Do I really need a coach? Can't I just figure it out on my own?"

It's a fair question. Most of us are taught from an early age to be self-sufficient — to learn, improve and solve our own problems. And for a while, that works. But there comes a point for almost everyone where going it alone stops being enough. That's exactly what Atul Gawande discovered — and his story is one of the most compelling arguments for coaching I've ever come across.

Who Is Atul Gawande?

Atul Gawande is not your average person wondering whether they've reached their potential. He's a Harvard professor, a bestselling author, a staff writer for The New Yorker, and one of the most accomplished surgeons in the world. If anyone should be able to improve on their own, it's him.

And yet.

The Problem With Going It Alone

Several years into his surgical career, Gawande noticed something troubling. In his early years as a surgeon his complication rates had steadily improved — as you'd expect from someone learning and growing in their craft. But then the improvement stopped. His results plateaued. No matter how hard he worked or how much he reflected on his own performance, he couldn't seem to get better.

He began to wonder: is this just what happens? Do we all simply reach our ceiling and stay there?

The answer, he discovered, was no. The problem wasn't his ceiling — it was his method. He was trying to improve alone, without an outside perspective. And that, it turns out, is a fundamental limitation that affects all of us — regardless of how talented, experienced or self-aware we are.

What a Coach Actually Does

Gawande's solution was to invite a former professor to observe him during surgery and give him feedback. What happened next surprised him. His colleague noticed things he had never seen himself — small habits, subtle inefficiencies, moments where things could be done differently. Things that were completely invisible to Gawande because he was too close to his own performance to see them clearly.

His complication rates began to drop again.

This is what a good coach does. Not tell you what to do. Not fix you. But provide what Gawande describes as a more accurate picture of your reality — an outside perspective that you simply cannot generate on your own, no matter how honest or reflective you are.

As Gawande puts it: it's not how good you are now that matters. It's how good you're going to be.

Why This Applies Far Beyond Surgery

You might be thinking: that's interesting, but I'm not a surgeon. What does this have to do with me?

Everything.

The pattern Gawande describes — early improvement, plateau, stagnation — shows up across every domain of human performance. In leadership. In relationships. In how we communicate, make decisions, manage our emotions and navigate complexity. We all develop blind spots. We all build habits that once served us but no longer do. We all reach points where our own reflection, however sincere, isn't enough to show us what we're missing.

This is precisely where coaching comes in — not as a remedial tool for people who are struggling, but as a performance tool for people who are already good and want to become better.

What Coaching Can Help You See

In my work as an ontological coach, I work with executives, leaders and individuals who are often high functioning and outwardly successful — but who sense that something is keeping them from the next level. Sometimes that's a communication pattern that's creating friction they can't quite name. Sometimes it's an emotional response that keeps showing up in stressful situations. Sometimes it's a deeply held belief about themselves or others that's quietly limiting what they think is possible.

Like Gawande's surgical habits, these patterns are often invisible to the person living them. Not because they lack intelligence or self-awareness — but because we are all, by nature, too close to our own experience to see it clearly.

A coach creates the distance needed to see what's actually happening — and then works with you to change it.

You Are Never Done

One of the most powerful ideas in Gawande's talk comes from the world of sport, where the belief has always been: you are never done. No matter how good you are, a coach will help you get better. Elite athletes have always known this. The question is why it took the rest of the professional world so long to catch on.

The answer, I think, is a cultural story about self-sufficiency — the idea that needing help is a sign of weakness, that truly capable people should be able to figure it out alone. Gawande's talk is a direct challenge to that story. Needing a coach isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's a sign that you're serious about being as good as you can be.

Ready to Find Out What You're Missing?

If you're curious about what coaching could help you see — in your leadership, your work, or your life — I'd love to have a conversation.

I offer a complimentary chemistry session where we can explore what you're working with and whether we're a good fit to work together. No pressure, no commitment — just a conversation worth having.

Book your complimentary chemistry session here

Also Worth Watching

If you haven't seen Gawande's TED talk yet, I'd highly recommend it. You can find it at ted.com — it's around 20 minutes and genuinely one of the best arguments for coaching ever made.