Life coaching, often called personal coaching or simply "coaching," is a one-on-one, collaborative process in which a trained professional (the coach) helps a client (sometimes called the coachee) achieve personal and/or professional outcomes.

Coaching is usually conducted for a defined period of time with specific, predefined outcomes in mind.

These outcomes may include just about anything, for example, gaining more self confidence, communicating better, overcoming anxiety, losing weight, changing career, navigating a breakup, or developing better relationships.

Who has life coaching?

People from every possible age, background, and occupation get coaching, but they all have one thing in common: a desire to achieve something different in their personal or professional life. Life coaching is suitable for anyone who is able to recognise that they want to learn or develop their skills in order to more consciously design the sort of future they want.

But why a life coach specifically?

It sounds simple, right? Reading so far, you might be thinking, “Yes, well I could do that for myself if I put my mind to it. Or my friend Jenny’s a great listener and good at giving advice so why should I pay a coach?” It’s a fair question if you’re unfamiliar with coaching.

The answer is that a professional coach has been specifically and carefully trained to use particular methodologies to generate certain processes or shifts in their client’s way of being. Coaches draw on frameworks, share tools and offer new perspectives. These are designed to unlock or reveal things that were previously unavailable or invisible to the client. This doesn’t just happen by accident - a good coach will skilfully guide a client through a conversation in a way that allows the client to have their best thinking, draw their own conclusions and figure out the way forward. This type of conversation is one you won’t have with yourself or a friend (unless they are a trained coach!).

It’s very hard to describe a good coaching process to someone who’s never experienced one. A bit like, trying to describe the taste of a juicy peach to someone who’s never eaten one!

Origins of coaching

Apparently, the first use of the term "coach" actually came into being in around 1830 at Oxford University. It was slang for a tutor or instructor who "carried" a student through an exam. The word "coaching" thus identified a process used to transport people from where they were to where they wanted to be. The first use of the term in relation to sports happened in 1861.

The development of life and leadership coaching has been influenced by many fields of activity, including adult education, the humanistic movement in the 1960s (a movement in psychology supporting the belief that humans, as individuals, are unique beings and should be recognized and treated as such in order for them to thrive), leadership studies, personal development, and various other subfields of psychology.

Life coaching as we know it today emerged in the 1980s when an American financial planner called Thomas Leonard, observed that his clients, though emotionally stable and hardly needing therapy, wanted more from him than just the usual tips on how to invest and safeguard their incomes. They wanted help with organising their lives better, and planning and achieving their goals. So Leonard’s career gradually shifted from financial planning to full-time developing of the techniques which were to become his coaching methodology. At the time he called it “life-planning”.

Within a few years, he was coaching and training people in those specific coaching skills which were complimentary to, but quite different from those practiced by therapists, mentors and consultants.

Anyone can call themselves a coach

When life coaching first hit personal development scene, it was often presented vaguely and viewed cynically - people couldn't decide whether it was a credible profession or the latest dubious fad. Linked to this is the fact that, unfortunately, even today anybody can call themselves a coach. As you can imagine, this is frustrating for coaches who have worked hard and invested considerably to earn reputable coaching qualifications. Fortunately as the coaching industry matures, so too are the processes being put in place to regulate coaching standards globally. If you’re interested to know more about this, I’ve written another article all about this which you can read here.

Developing the coaching industry

The International Coach Federation was the first and remains the most important organisation in the benchmarking and regulation of coaching. This worldwide body was the first to set and publish industry standards and ethics and provide independent credentialling of coaches and accreditation of coaching schools.

There are several organisations like this around the globe. It’s not a prerequisite for any coach to be credentialled with one of these bodies, but it is highly recommended. A credentialled coach is someone you can trust to meet the standards required by the body that they are affiliated with.

Different types of coaching

In the same way there are many brands of car, for example, so too are their many models of coaching. Each one has its own particular methodology centred around the core beliefs or perspectives of the model. A few examples of these different models of coaching are (to name just a very few):

• Ontological

• Integral

• Co-Active

• NLP (neurolinguistic programming)

• GROW

Some coaches focus on one model whereas others draw on several. Both ways have merit.

All of these models will approach various issues and areas in their own way. Some of the sorts of issues that coaching can cover include:

• Relationship

• Leadership

• Career

• Business

• Anger management

• Retirement

• Emotional intelligence

• Stress management

Similarly, some coaches specialise in just one niche area, for example relationships. Others will go wherever the client takes them.

What life coaching is

Whatever model of coaching a good life coach is applying, they will be adhering to the following key points:

• Life coaching provides a safe and encouraging space for clients to define how they would like to improve their life, creating goals that are positive, forward thinking and inspiring.

• Life coaching assists people to transition from where they are now, to where they want to be.

• Life coaching respects the position someone is in without judgement.

• Life coaching also looks to the future, supporting people to explore their desires and feelings, and define what they want their future to be like.

• A life coach listens closely and asks challenging and thought provoking questions so their clients can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and what matters most to them.

• A life coach offers encouragement and challenges their clients in a supportive way.

• The results of a successful coaching relationship are longterm and sustainable. The client is able to maintain and even grow what they’ve done with their coach outside of the coaching relationship.

What life coaching is not

• Life coaching is not counselling or therapy. Although coaching doesn’t exclude clients who may also be seeing a therapist to work on issues that require therapeutic intervention, coaching is about expanding what is working in a client’s life, or consciously shifting the habits and behaviours that aren’t.

• Life coaching is not mentoring or consulting. A coach won’t give advice or tell their client what to do. Coaching is about empowering clients to create their own pathways.

• A life coach doesn’t evaluate, assess or critique their clients or their actions in any way.

• Even though life coaches may care deeply, they do not support their clients in the same way a friend might. They are trained to remain impartial in order to facilitate the most optimal process and outcome for their client.

• Life coaching is not simply a listening service. A life coach will allow a client to vent their frustrations, but only for so long before intercepting and inviting the client to explore what’s at the heart of their story in order that they can move forward effectively.

• A life coach will ask thought-provoking questions, but only with a client’s permission. They will not take a client to places in the conversation they don’t want to go to.

• A life coach will ensure that the conversation remains focussed on the issue that is identified and agreed upon at the start of the session.

Wrapping up

I hope that this article has offered you some clarity on what coaching is. If you have any questions or something you’d like cleared up, please feel free to write a comment or email me via the form below. If you’d like to take a bite out of the peach for yourself, and experience what coaching is all about, please get in touch for a complimentary chemistry session here. Or read some more about me and my work here.